Sunday, March 7, 2010

one week.....


I am now one week, seven very short days, away from heading back to work. I have loved being a stay at home mommy for the past two months and I am having a hard time imagining a life as a working mom. I keep telling myself this will be good for all of us. However, I just don't want it to happen. Is there a way to stop time? To keep my little girl a 7 week old for just a little longer? I know there isn't but I just want to keep her tiny and snuggly and all to myself for just a few more weeks. I have been trying to remind myself that I was so very lucky to get to stay home for 8 weeks. I really should have gone back to work a week ago, my check book is really feeling the two weeks of unpaid leave. I also need to remember that I am really good at my job and for the most part I really enjoy what I do.

I am also trying to remember that going to daycare will be good for Avery. She will get to interact with other kids, and I know she will be better off for it. (Just like I will be better off getting more interaction with other adults). I worry that I will start wishing for the weekends and before I know it she will be ready for her first date and then headed off to college.
I never expected motherhood to have me so confused. On one hand I don't want anything to change, I want Avery to be my tiny little baby forever. On the other hand I can't wait to show her how to ride a bike, teach her to read, and watch her daddy teach her to fish. Can't I have my cake and eat it too?

Avery is 1 month and 3 weeks old....and growing up too fast!

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